About Mónica| The Creator

 

My name is Mónica I’m Portuguese and I’m currently living in England where I studied Psychology and Counselling. My English is not bad, but it’s also not brilliant, so bare with me through all the grammar mistakes, I’ll try to keep them to a minimum. I’m happily married and I have two kids (a couple). If you knew me, you’d know that I cry easily, that I loooove bread, cheese and popcorn (my guilty pleasures) and that going to the cinema is a family obsession.

 

I’m serial blogger of all things related to natural hair and I’m seriously contemplating taking my computer to bed to type while I fall asleep, but I suspect my husband would think three is a crowd.

 

I created this space because when I decided to transition to natural hair (back in 2013) I read, watched, researched, lived and breathed all things linked to natural hair. This “obsession” has continued and I thought “Why not put my new knowledge and experience out there? Maybe it can help someone?”.

 

And here we are, me blogging about natural hair and discovering how to run a website! All I can tell you is that it has been a blast. I love it! Sure, it’s been challenging at times but always rewarding. Care to join and meet me here? Let’s be friends.

 


 

About Your Space| Curly Hair Lounge

Curly Hair Lounge is a space where you’ll find information about natural hair with a focus on helping women who are thinking about or are currently transitioning to natural hair.  More importantly, it’s a space devoted to giving you actionable tools to help you on your journey to healthy, beautiful natural hair.

 

All hair types, textures, and shapes are celebrated, the goal is to release you from the stress of transition so you can truly enjoy and love the hair you have (not someone else’s). In here, you will find information, advice and resources to:

 

– Develop your hair regimen

– Address natural hair breakage

– Develop your own homemade hair recipes

– Sieve through all the information out there

– Know the whats and whys

– Discover the right hair method for you

– Style your hair

– and much more…..

 

All information is based on personal experience and research.  So, if you’re tired of relaxing and ready to discover your natural hair, then be a regular on this lounge, the Curly Hair Lounge! ’cause there’s oodles of support and cheering at all stages of your new journey especially when you join our Facebook Group community.

 

If you’re not ready to plunge in just yet, don’t worry, grab yourself a beverage, relax, soak up all the information and take action when you’re ready.

 


 

…Psst! Wanna know more about my hair story?

Keep reading…

 

 

Hi again,

Shall we continue?! Ok, then, moving on. As far as my hair story goes I used a relaxer on my hair most of my life. I’ve always been very attached to my hair and proud of it since everyone kept telling me how beautiful and long it was. We may not want to admit it but, much of our self-esteem/self-image is closely connected to our hair. Why else would so many of us prefer going through a transition as opposed to the dreaded BIG CHOP (BC). I don’t know about you, but I admire those who have the courage to BC.

 

There are probably a million different reasons as to why we prefer not doing a BC: I won’t look feminine enough, I don’t like short hair, what will my boyfriend think of and so on. By now you have probably guessed that I am transitioning from relaxed to natural hair. So, I am gonna let you in on my secret reason. To me, strangely enough, the reason is directly connected to the first time I relaxed my hair.

 

 

My Hair Story

Let me tell you. That was one of the most traumatic experiences in my life! The hairdresser looked at my hair as if she was looking at a wild animal that needed to be tamed. I guess she didn’t have much experience relaxing natural hair. Nevertheless, she didn’t give up on the battle and like a brave soldier, she did her duty. She used a Brazilian relaxer on my hair, I remember the strong scent of chemicals and the burning sensation on my scalp. Do you remember this too ladies? I get chills on my body just thinking about it!

 

Anyway, all I can tell you is that she undoubtedly didn’t follow the relaxer’s instructions because when it was time to take it off (drums roll please), my hair was falling off like crazy!! I wanted to cry bu I didn’t. I was in disbelief. Could this be happening to me? I was only 13/14 years old. I went from waist length to ear length. Crazy right???

 

This experience left me psychologically scarred for life when it comes to caring, cutting and trimming my hair. This experience was the reason I couldn’t contemplate doing a Big Chop when I decided to transition to natural hair. You can understand, can’t you ladies?!

 

Despite the bad experience and how short my hair was it still looked shiny and healthy, it grew and everyone kept admiring my hair. So, I continued relaxing. However, I was, and still am, very wary of hairdressers. Can imagine how annoying I am in a hair salon. I watch every single move the stylist makes like a hawk, however, I haven’t been to a salon in over 3 years.

 

Anyway, the continuous use of relaxers on my hair throughout the years left it lifeless, with no curl pattern and dull. I felt it was time to do something as I was also tired of relaxing and kept prolonging applications. That was when I went on google looking for solutions to revive my hair and stumbled upon a girl talking about going natural and transitioning. This was how I started this transitioning journey.

 

 

Where I’m Now

I am now transitioning for 29 months and this has been not only a hair journey but a psychological journey as well. Before I liked my hair, but now I looove my hair! It is growing so beautiful and healthy. I didn’t remember how it was and every time I see my curls popping I am in awe. Can you imagine? I hope you guys feel the same if not give it time, be attuned to it and have patience.

 

When the big day comes (BC) I hope we can all wear our natural hair proud and continue on this journey caring for and loving our hair. And if it sounds like I’m talking about a baby, it’s because in some weird, maybe twisted way, I am. I mean my hair is like my baby now. I am always trying to be aware of its needs, “feeding” it properly and timely and handling it carefully. And in return, I am finding new things about myself. I am more patient, I feel more beautiful and stronger and I talk more proudly about my hair. Ultimately, despite the challenges, it has been a journey worth taking.

 

I am now a “naturalhairolic” seeking avidly all things associated with natural hair. Please rest assured that when the big day comes (BC) I will continue to be here supporting you as another journey begins for me. So, I wish you all the best in your transition to natural hair and thanks for dropping by to get to know me a little bit better!

 

Cheers

(Update: I did my Big Chop on 30th January/2016 after transitioning for 30 months and I officially became a natural girl. Hoohoo!! 😀 😉 )

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20 thoughts on “

  1. You and your hair are beautiful Monica! As a woman I can relate to this! I have naturally wavy to curly hair. All my life I was always told how long and beautiful it was, and “don’t ever cut it.” It’s amazing how much that can become a part of our identity. When I was 27 I went backpacking for 3 months to other countries and decided to use it as an opportunity to do the “BC” so I could travel makeup/hair product free to keep things as simple as possible. So I chopped it, and I mean chopped it…every waist length inch of it to boy short! Initially I was in shock but over time it grew on me 🙂

    I could go on but let’s just say, in my experience, it’s amazing how scary and liberating it can be when it’s just you there without all that hair LOL! I learned a lot about my myself…who’d thunk hair has that much power of us, especially as women!

    At times I struggle with my ‘frizzy beast’ (as I like to call it), especially when I see all these women with beautifully straightened hair. I never tried a relaxer, but definitely thought about it. I am a natural kind of girl and I just don’t want to put a bunch of chemicals in my hair and fry it. As I continue to age I have become comfortable with the state of my hair, and would even say I embrace it nowadays…most of the time haha! I haven’t used a blow dryer in like 10 years! Anyway good luck on your “non relaxed hair” journey, it’s so worth it, and your hair will definitely thank you for it!

    1. OMG! You’re so brave. I don’t think I could big chop my hair like that. At times I just want to cut my hair and see all my beautiful curls without the relaxed ends, but I’ll wait until the 2 year mark at least. I’ll definitely put a blog up here when that day comes.

  2. I have never used relaxers…but I understand the childhood trauma of hair stylists. I haven’t had my hair cut in a salon since the 5th grade. A woman’s hair is very important. I believe you should own whatever hair color and type you are. Just ROCK it! Being comfortable in your own skin…and hair…helps you be a more authentic person. You strive to be more real in other ways. I think it helps you mature, when you can say ‘This is me.’ No apologies.

    1. You are totally right. Many of us have an hair stylist trauma to talk about, some more serious than others. It is a very important part of a women’s image and some traumas can “mess you up”. I definitely feel more sure of myself now that I’m letting my natural hair grow. It is a feeling of confidence that is growing and maturing. It is as you say “This is me. No apologies!”.

  3. I can totally relate! I went into the the salon with hair down to my behind and asked for a 2″ trim and came out looking like a boy with one side way shorter than the other about 5 years ago.
    Never went back to a salon.
    I have the unruly,curly, frizzy type of hair and I have done everything you could and can do to control it. (I went to cosmetology school for 4 years) So I know a thing or 2.
    Nowadays I just let my hair free fly and man has it had a big impact on how I feel about myself. I say let your inner beauty shine through by not caring what other people think of you and just let it all go. Your hair makes you unique! I can’t wait to see your journey!
    Thanks for sharing!! 🙂 Great site!

    1. Yes, let your hair fly and be free. I’ll be sure to post my big Chop here you can all see it. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. Your site is very informative, and even gives me lots of ideas on how to better my own hair. You have many blogs that invite readers in to keep reading. Your content is fully explained and lengthy. Great job!

  5. Monica, you’re gorgeous and it’s so sad that something like that happened to you. I think everyone has a hairstylist horror story, and I’m glad that you’re transitioning to natural hair. My mother has a rare form of OCD that causes her to pick her hair, so I’ve always been grateful for what I have and have tried to take care of it the best I can. My hair is unmanageably long now, and I’m overdue for the BC! I’ve been hurt by professional hairstylists and manicurists before, too, so I keep putting it off… I have to find a friend that’s as hair-savvy as you to help me cut it properly.

    I’m glad you’re sharing your journey with us, and I wish you the best!

    1. Hi Lauren,
      I’m still not completely over my little horror story and don’t know if I ever will, but I believe this journey is helping me face that trauma.
      Sorry to hear about your mum, OCD can become a very serious disorder to overcome. After my psychology & counselling degree I worked at a psychological hospital where there were a few patients with similar behaviour, it was very hard to see. But, you are right we have to give thanks for what we have now and have faith that what we need will come in its own time. In the meantime, you can always come here and ask for help. If you don’t find what you’re looking for here ask or request a special post and I’ll do my best to help you.
      I wish you all the best too!

  6. Hi Monica,

    I really love the journey you’re taking! I myself do not have curly hair which is so funny because there is nothing i could dream MORE about that having hair like yours.

    I’ve grown up with my mum constantly spending time on her hair to straighten out her curls doing whatever was necessary to make herself feel more comfortable. At the same time I was so jealous that she couldn’t just give her curls to me!

    I’ve learned to accept that my hair will never be curly but I love it because it’s part of me.

    Keep up the great work!

    All the best

    Katia

    1. Hi Katia! Thanks for your comment. Often times we all want what we can’t have and spend too much effort trying to get it. It’s learning to love what we have that will give greater pleasure. Take care and all the best to you too.

  7. Hi Monica – WOW what a site you’ve developed. The first thing I noticed was the great use of colour and then the informative content. You must have spent quite some time getting it to this standard! I do like the layout as well, having the news set down one side and also the “up market” looking widgets – just looks great! Makes me realize I have sooooo much to do.

    Anyhow – I too have just had the BC about 3 weeks ago and I think I went into a state of shock. I now have an Ellen haircut… and before that 22″ extensions via microbeads! I had them for about 18 months, so it really was a major change. I have to say I don’t miss them at all, and my hair is on the slow road to recovery 🙂

    Love the site,
    Love the content,
    Jealous over your set up and widgets,
    ….. Will definitely visit again soon.

    Michelle xx

    1. Hello Michelle
      Thanks for your feedback on my website. Nothing can be accomplished without work, but I love what I do so it doesn’t feel like hard work.
      Big Chopping is not for everybody you need to be unattached to your hair, but going from 22″ to an Ellen haircut can be drastic. I hope you’re past the shock stage now. Please come and visit me here on the site again, I’ll be happy to see you here on the comments section.

  8. Great article Monica. You have given me a lot of ideas on how to wear my hair in different styles. A lot of info on the No poo shampoos too. Very impressive.

    All the best.

    Sugenthi

  9. Hi Monica,I’m a guy but your info is very informative and I know my wife will be here for more information. Great site!
    Barry

    1. Hi Barry, Welcome! It’s refreshing to see a guy around, the info in mainly geared towards women but there is a lot of useful information for you too. Feel free to come back and check with your wife.

  10. Monica,
    Such an inspirational website, dedicated to such a worthy cause. Our women are so manipulated by the measuring stick it really is a breath of fresh air just to see a site like this. i applaud you, not only for having the wherewithal to go natural, but the inner fortitude to shout it from the mountain tops. This really is a plethora of great information and support for the young woman, like a beacon of light in the darkness. My hats off to you!

    Keep up the good work,
    Shawn

    1. Thank you Shawn, I really love what I am doing and I hope it shows here. I’m certainly not the only one doing this but I enjoy sharing my journey, my knowledge and I hope it helps and supports those on the journey or thinking about joining in. Thank you for your kind words.

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